I came across an interesting quote the other day: “Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for someone who has had a relapse is to not sound loving.”
The prophet said it like this: “The Lord spoke to me with a strong hand” (Isaiah 8:11).
You know someone who is struggling in their addiction. You might even be married to that person. And your first instinct is probably to extend grace. That’s a good thing. But grace isn’t always squishy. Sometimes it’s hard.
Encourage your friend or loved one. But be willing to speak to them “with a strong hand.” What does that look like? I suggest two things:
- High standards
- Hard questions
Recovery Step: Be willing to set high standards and to ask hard questions. You know someone who is in relapse. Perhaps it is time to speak to them “with a strong hand.”
Author: Mark Denison
Mark and Beth Denison, married for 36 years, launched There’s Still Hope as a national movement to call men and women into lives of sexual integrity. Their ministry offers 90-day recovery plans for addicts and one-on-one and group coaching for addicts and their spouses. TSH also produces resources for pastors and churches to confront the porn epidemic that is destroying so many lives.
Dr. Denison was a senior pastor for over 30 years, NBA chaplain, and board chairman at Houston Baptist University three times. With a Master’s Degree in Addiction Recovery, Mark is a certified PSAP and active member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Mark has written four books on recovery: Porn in the Pew, 365 Days to Sexual Integrity, A 90-Day Recovery Guide, and 40 Days to Porn-Free Living. His latest book, Jesus on the 12 Steps, will be released later this year.
