I’ve never met anyone who knew more about marriage than Gary Smalley. That’s why I put a lot of credence in this quote. Smalley observed that most marriages are 80 percent good and 20 percent bad. What makes the difference is which part they decide to focus on most.
When we meet our future spouse, we only notice the good. Then, with enough time, mistakes, lies, and betrayal, we notice only the bad. And that is understandable. But it is also fruitless.
Solomon knew a bit about marriage, as well. He said, “He who searches for good finds favor” (Proverbs 11:27).
So try this today. Make a list of three or four things that are really good about your spouse, and only focus on that for the rest of the day.
Recovery Step: Go ahead! Make the list!
Author: Mark Denison
Mark and Beth Denison, married for 36 years, launched There’s Still Hope as a national movement to call men and women into lives of sexual integrity. Their ministry offers 90-day recovery plans for addicts and one-on-one and group coaching for addicts and their spouses. TSH also produces resources for pastors and churches to confront the porn epidemic that is destroying so many lives.
Dr. Denison was a senior pastor for over 30 years, NBA chaplain, and board chairman at Houston Baptist University three times. With a Master’s Degree in Addiction Recovery, Mark is a certified PSAP and active member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Mark has written four books on recovery: Porn in the Pew, 365 Days to Sexual Integrity, A 90-Day Recovery Guide, and 40 Days to Porn-Free Living. His latest book, Jesus on the 12 Steps, will be released later this year.
