Shame is not your friend.
Guilt says, “You’ve done something bad.” Shame says, “You are bad.” If anyone could have lived in shame, it was the Apostle Paul, who had persecuted Christians prior to his own conversion. But Paul learned to run from shame.
In his great theological treatise, Paul asked, “Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies” (Romans 8:33).
Shame is a powerful emotion that can shape a person’s life in devastating ways. An article in Journal of Psychology identifies five ways people living in shame fall short:
- They avoid community.
- They suppress their emotions.
- They feel worthlessness and anxious.
- They avoid healthy risks.
- Relapse is much more frequent.
Shame is not a condition as much as it is a choice. You can choose to live in shame or you can choose to live in grace. I suggest the latter.
Recovery Step: Embrace grace.
Author: Mark Denison
Mark and Beth Denison, married for 36 years, launched There’s Still Hope as a national movement to call men and women into lives of sexual integrity. Their ministry offers 90-day recovery plans for addicts and one-on-one and group coaching for addicts and their spouses. TSH also produces resources for pastors and churches to confront the porn epidemic that is destroying so many lives.
Dr. Denison was a senior pastor for over 30 years, NBA chaplain, and board chairman at Houston Baptist University three times. With a Master’s Degree in Addiction Recovery, Mark is a certified PSAP and active member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Mark has written four books on recovery: Porn in the Pew, 365 Days to Sexual Integrity, A 90-Day Recovery Guide, and 40 Days to Porn-Free Living. His latest book, Jesus on the 12 Steps, will be released later this year.
