Coach Mike Ditka used to say, “You are what your record says you are.” By that he meant that our actions define us. Johann Wolfgang Goethe said it like this: “Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image.”
Jesus said we are known by our fruit (Matthew 7:16). Action trumps intent; it is who we are.
Let’s apply this to sex addiction. How do you spot a sex addict? It’s really not that difficult. Look for the following signs:
- Denial
- Secrecy
- Small lies
- Emotional disconnection
- Shame
- Defensiveness
- Lipstick on the collar
Okay, that last one is easy. But it is no more sign of a problem than the other six.
Recovery Step: Until you name it, you can’t deal with it. You need to learn how to spot a sex addict. The list above is a good start.
Author: Mark Denison
Mark and Beth Denison, married for 36 years, launched There’s Still Hope as a national movement to call men and women into lives of sexual integrity. Their ministry offers 90-day recovery plans for addicts and one-on-one and group coaching for addicts and their spouses. TSH also produces resources for pastors and churches to confront the porn epidemic that is destroying so many lives.
Dr. Denison was a senior pastor for over 30 years, NBA chaplain, and board chairman at Houston Baptist University three times. With a Master’s Degree in Addiction Recovery, Mark is a certified PSAP and active member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Mark has written four books on recovery: Porn in the Pew, 365 Days to Sexual Integrity, A 90-Day Recovery Guide, and 40 Days to Porn-Free Living. His latest book, Jesus on the 12 Steps, will be released later this year.
