My wife works with spouses who are married to sex addicts, leading them through their own recovery programs. Regarding their relationships with their addict husbands, Beth often tells them, “Believe their behaviors, not their words.”
Jesus said it like this: “A tree is recognized by its fruit” (Matthew 12:33).
When a person works a serious program of recovery, he doesn’t need to tell those closest to him. They will notice the difference. His attitude and behavior will reflect on the outside what is happening within.
Psychotherapist Denise Fournier identifies three signs of solid recovery work:
- Eagerness to change
- Structured recovery program
- General productivity
Make your own list. If you are serious about your recovery, you won’t have to tell anyone. They will be able to see if for themselves.
Recovery Step: Do recovery work on a level that is obvious to others.
Author: Mark Denison
Mark and Beth Denison, married for 36 years, launched There’s Still Hope as a national movement to call men and women into lives of sexual integrity. Their ministry offers 90-day recovery plans for addicts and one-on-one and group coaching for addicts and their spouses. TSH also produces resources for pastors and churches to confront the porn epidemic that is destroying so many lives.
Dr. Denison was a senior pastor for over 30 years, NBA chaplain, and board chairman at Houston Baptist University three times. With a Master’s Degree in Addiction Recovery, Mark is a certified PSAP and active member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Mark has written four books on recovery: Porn in the Pew, 365 Days to Sexual Integrity, A 90-Day Recovery Guide, and 40 Days to Porn-Free Living. His latest book, Jesus on the 12 Steps, will be released later this year.
