Paul Ekman is a well-known psychologist and was named one of the 100 most influential people in the world by Time magazine in 2009. Ekman has spent over 50 years studying the habits of men and women. As a result, he has produced a list of the reasons that people lie.
Interestingly, Dr. Ekman concludes that the #1 reason we lie is to avoid punishment of some kind.
We tell the officer, “I thought I was only going 55 miles an hour.” We tell our spouse, “I got stuck in traffic.” We tell our parents, “My watch stopped, so I had no idea how late it was.”
We lie in order to avoid punishment.
Here’s the problem with that. Every lie actually produces punishment. Solomon said, “What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words” (Proverbs 18:20-21).
Recovery Step: In recovery, nothing matters more than honesty. Nothing.
Author: Mark Denison
Mark and Beth Denison, married for 36 years, launched There’s Still Hope as a national movement to call men and women into lives of sexual integrity. Their ministry offers 90-day recovery plans for addicts and one-on-one and group coaching for addicts and their spouses. TSH also produces resources for pastors and churches to confront the porn epidemic that is destroying so many lives.
Dr. Denison was a senior pastor for over 30 years, NBA chaplain, and board chairman at Houston Baptist University three times. With a Master’s Degree in Addiction Recovery, Mark is a certified PSAP and active member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Mark has written four books on recovery: Porn in the Pew, 365 Days to Sexual Integrity, A 90-Day Recovery Guide, and 40 Days to Porn-Free Living. His latest book, Jesus on the 12 Steps, will be released later this year.
