I’ve seen it hundreds of times. I did it myself. I got into recovery because of my wife’s discovery. But it wasn’t enough.
Patrick Carnes wrote, “The momentary willingness that comes after disclosure or discovery will not turn into long-term sobriety unless there is a recognition that past attempts to control don’t work. Unless there is a true surrender of control, change will not last.”
You can have recovery. Or you can be in control. But you can’t have both.
And that’s actually a good thing, because being in control is overrated. Surrender to Jesus is underrated. He said it himself: “Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 16:25).
Here’s my suggestion. Do Step 3 – “Make a decision to turn your life and will over to the care of God as you understand God.”
Recovery Step: Let go of control. It’s the only way to get from where you are to where you want to be.
Author: Mark Denison
Mark and Beth Denison, married for 36 years, launched There’s Still Hope as a national movement to call men and women into lives of sexual integrity. Their ministry offers 90-day recovery plans for addicts and one-on-one and group coaching for addicts and their spouses. TSH also produces resources for pastors and churches to confront the porn epidemic that is destroying so many lives.
Dr. Denison was a senior pastor for over 30 years, NBA chaplain, and board chairman at Houston Baptist University three times. With a Master’s Degree in Addiction Recovery, Mark is a certified PSAP and active member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Mark has written four books on recovery: Porn in the Pew, 365 Days to Sexual Integrity, A 90-Day Recovery Guide, and 40 Days to Porn-Free Living. His latest book, Jesus on the 12 Steps, will be released later this year.
